Due to illness, so much of what I do creatively is fragmentary, sporadic, limited by what I can do, and when, and for how long.
Sometimes my mind fatigues before my body, sometimes my body before my mind. Sometimes setbacks and mistakes cause me to lose faith. Sometimes an idea is beyond my technical ability, and I need to let it go.
I wish I could be creating art more consistently, to manifest all that I see and envision, yet many ideas will never come to fruition. I’m learning that I have to prioritise, to focus on what calls to me the most, and to let the rest fall away. This is saddening and maddening, yet I think perhaps nothing is ever truly lost, for it simply returns to the bubbling cauldron of possibility, to break down, re-form, and reconstitute. To provide food for my inner self, for soul, and to one day reemerge, manifested at long last, in a new and unexpected form, embodying all that went before.
Just recently I’ve managed to get back into my studio to begin working once more (after a hiatus of well over a year!), and a new work, long envisaged, has come into being. I’ve yet to scan and share it, but a blurry sneak peek is below.
When creating I have purpose, and I am essentially content. The challenge is to maintain the momentum and move through all the frequent lulls and fallows, and rarer blooms and fruitings with grace.
