Germinal

Mixed emotions are attached to this image. 

Germinal (a left-handed drawing)

I was initially going to call it Pit—in reference to a hole in the ground, or a grave; to a low psychological state; and to the hard stone of a fruit—but decided that overall the word was too bleak, not only for what is depicted, but also because no matter how difficult things get, how dark my shadowlands become, I always seem to sense hope’s glimmer somewhere.

When I am feeling gloomy I often feel unable to open myself to the creative process, and I avoid it, hide from it, feel unworthy. On this occasion though I felt it was necessary to push through my despondency and just do something, developing an old idea. 

In an attempt to bypass my inner critic and to embrace ‘mistakes’ I drew this with my left (non-favoured) hand, and the soothing repetition of all those spirals gave me something to focus on, calming my jangled nerves. (The ink highlights I completed with my right hand.)

It’s not my best work, but it speaks of my current mood, of a darkness that can still yield something good. To call it Germinal—in the earliest stage of development; providing material for future development—seems right.

Happy Imbolc! The light of spring is on its way.