All-Seeing

 The symbol of the all-knowing, all-seeing, many-eyed god belongs to an archetypal image in which the stars of the night sky appear as the eyes of the godhead. The link between the upper and lower regions is characteristic for diverse phases of the Great Mother’s rule. As goddess of the tomb, she rules over the world of the dead, but at the same time she governs the celestial world, whose luminaries are her eyes. 

~Erich Neumann, The Great Mother: An Analysis of the Archetype, 1955/1963, p. 127

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These eyes have been watching me for a long time now, waiting to be released onto the page, into colour and form. Inspired, in part, by the eyes/scales in the background of a favourite image by Meinrad Craighead, Crow Mother, Her Eyes, Her Eggs, they also relate to another idea I’ve yet to realise, but hope to in time. 

They are not quite as I envisaged them, yet, they have been my way back into creating after a long, long break, a methodical and repetitive task to reawaken my painterly self. A new beginning. 

All-Seeing, watercolours and watercolour pencil on gesso prepared paper (2023)

In the Flow

I’m currently writing a very long analysis of a controversial-but-should-not-be-controversial subject that has been weighing heavily on me for several years, which I intend to share in due course. (Then, I hope, I can get back to making art.)

Since I’ve not been able to write much at all for a long time, usually getting stuck after just a few paragraphs, even sentences, that I’ve been able to do this is something of a miracle. No doubt it is the result of an adrenalin surge that I will have to pay for later, but right now I am feeling vitalised, and wilder and more myself than I have in simply ages, perhaps because I am finally uncensoring myself and letting ideas flow naturally. Connections are being made, and years of reading and thinking and figuring things out are coming to fruition. It’s a relief, and also hugely rewarding.

I can also feel the season changing, which feels enlivening. Summer is my most difficult time of year, and this one was more difficult than usual, so though I do hope the warm, sunny weather will continue for a while yet (after three straight years of la Niña rain!), and I am already missing the light evenings, I’m also feeling drawn to autumnal thoughts, welcoming the night earlier, and waking to a morning chill. Cardigan weather is coming, for which I am bittersweetly grateful.

The Bubbling Cauldron of Possibility

Due to illness, so much of what I do creatively is fragmentary, sporadic, limited by what I can do, and when, and for how long.

Sometimes my mind fatigues before my body, sometimes my body before my mind. Sometimes setbacks and mistakes cause me to lose faith. Sometimes an idea is beyond my technical ability, and I need to let it go.

I wish I could be creating art more consistently, to manifest all that I see and envision, yet many ideas will never come to fruition. I’m learning that I have to prioritise, to focus on what calls to me the most, and to let the rest fall away. This is saddening and maddening, yet I think perhaps nothing is ever truly lost, for it simply returns to the bubbling cauldron of possibility, to break down, re-form, and reconstitute. To provide food for my inner self, for soul, and to one day reemerge, manifested at long last, in a new and unexpected form, embodying all that went before.

Just recently I’ve managed to get back into my studio to begin working once more (after a hiatus of well over a year!), and a new work, long envisaged, has come into being. I’ve yet to scan and share it, but a blurry sneak peek is below.  

When creating I have purpose, and I am essentially content. The challenge is to maintain the momentum and move through all the frequent lulls and fallows, and rarer blooms and fruitings with grace.