Finding the How

The what and the why can be relatively easy. It’s the how that I find difficult.

How to manifest my visions. How to say what I must say. How to inhabit the state of flow from which sacred wonder arises, when energy and will and presence are scarce.

Every year brings strange challenges and gifts, but this year I’ve felt particularly disconnected from my creative work, as I’ve had to devote much physical energy to strengthening and repairing my body, and reorganising my personal space. I’ve felt a bit discombobulated and unfocused as a result, and thus the how has become more trying than usual. But all of the activity which has taken me away from art will, I hope, eventually lead me back to it, more focused, more motivated and inspired.

I have developed a great trust in the seasons of life, and am happy to turn towards what is needed, even if it seems like I am achieving little. This is a skill.

And during stressful moments this year I’ve managed to maintain an almost unshakable calm, which has given me a stability I’m not sure that I’ve possessed before. This fills me with some wonder. Inner change is often invisible, and yet it manifests in very tangible ways.

I feel sure that next year will be a new land, entirely mine to inhabit, and much will grow from its soil.

Happy summer/winter solstice! May the turn of the year bring you blessings.

August 2022